don't talk back just drive the car

tonight my flickr account got slightly narcissistic, for that i apologize. i am not one of those people that constantly takes pictures of themselves, sometimes in mirrors or on subways or while standing in front of a water foutain pouting. or if i am it is something i try to keep mostly hidden. but today i did indulge just a little. you see lately i have been feeling emotional, not as in weepy and scattered (although those probably describe me as well) but more just filled with a lot of emotions of all kinds. this has caused me some stress which has meant i have had to:

move furniture
clean compulsively
try and sew a stuffed rabbit (and i will god damn it, even if it kills me)
get all my hair cut off, well most of it

and then today i chose to dye my hair dark brown.

i hate to think of myself as a trend follower but the dark hair seems to be a trend this year so i guess i am. i think i like it. better than the other anyway. but i think all i was really looking for was change which is strange because my whole life has been changed lately, you would think it enough. maybe it is my brains way of rebelling. all of the big changes, the baby, the staying home, the finding myself within a whole new identity...well my brain didn't have a choice in all of that. so maybe the rearranging of the house and my head is my way of gaining control. hard to say. the pictures were me trying to get used to the new look, some of them turned out ok so i thought i would share. i guess i just felt i needed to explain, so that you wouldn't think me a narcissist because clearly being this, a mumbling buffoon, is much better.

*the first one is me pretending to be a rockstar, at which i am failing miserably. the second is so that you know that the left side of my face isn't horribly disfigured (which, now that i think about it, would be a much better explanation for why one would make themselves look like i do in the first picture). wow! i am full of explaining myself tonight huh? gulp