this was the scene i woke up to at 6 this morning. i guess the pigeon was looking for a place to rest his weary soul and our cracked open window seemed to fit the bill.

so work. it was much better than i expected, although i still think i would have rather been at home. i got right back into the swing of things and it all came back as clear as yesterday within a couple of hours. it felt familiar and inviting, so i guess that was good. there was also something slightly off about that for me though. the realization that i work at a job that you can leave for 13 months and come back only to find everything exactly the same, including the jokes and all the dialogue. a little surreal to be honest. i think it would have been nice if it felt awkward and new, if only for a moment to give me that first day of school rush, but it was not to be. so i am back and it is the same. i guess that means the posts about how much i hate the bus should start rolling in full force. i bet that makes you all excited, doesn't it?


hi ho, hi ho it's off to...

so many things to write about. i am going to attempt to do one big summary, we'll see how it goes.

a few months ago i made reservations to rent a car one weekend every month throughout the summer. in april we went camping, but last weekend was our may weekend and we chose to not make plans but just to go out and do whatever we fancied. the weather ended up being underwhelming so some of the things we thought we would do, like a hike, didn't happen, but we managed to fill the long weekend with fun anyway.

cohen went to his second first birthday party this time in mission (about an hour drive). the birthday girl was beth who is the daughter of a woman i met online that had a due date close to mine. we had never met in person, despite being so close, so it was nice to finally meet. when we got there i overheard another mom telling a lady that she always worries that her daughter is going to be too aggressive with the other kids. as most of you know, cohen is the same and so my interest was piqued. after talking with her for a bit it became clear that we had to get the kids together and sure enough, they wrestled with each other most of the afternoon (she is the one in the picture). i think cohen was in heaven and he had that look of love in his eye.

on monday, our last day with the car the weather was pretty miserable so we stayed in and ate freshly baked croissants and drank coffee, that is until mid afternoon when the sky cleared up and the road beckoned us. we didn't know where we were going, but in the end our road led us to white rock for a long walk on the beach including standing close to the tracks as the train passed. we thought cohen would really dig the action, but it turns out he was more interested in my water bottle. maybe next time.

then last week cohen went and did some trial runs with his nanny to see how he would do. as expected, he did amazing and hardly cared at all that he was away from me, although the nanny, amy, did say that he kept looking at the door. i am glad she said that because it can be a little heartbreaking having such an independent baby, especially when i am being a needy mom! i know it is going to be a smooth transition for cohen (and hopefully for me) plus, the two boys seem to get along well (although the other boy dante did kick up a fuss every now and again when cohen played with his toys!).

i did end up getting my haircut. i know that many of you have already seen the cut on facebook, and if you haven't then why aren't you on there yet? actually i know why, and it was why i resisted for so long despite the polite prodding by friends. i have no idea why it is so compelling, drawing me back, sucking my time, but there it is. i am sure it is the real reason i haven't updated my blog in so long. so shameful. what was i talking about, oh yes! the haircut. i did end up finding a picture and going in with it and she actually did a pretty good job of getting it right. i also got it highlighted which isn't so obvious here so you may have to trust me on that.

the other big, no let's call it "the biggest" news of the day is that cohen is walking now! he has actually been walking for almost two weeks (first one step followed by a crash, then three, then six...), but i just haven't gotten around to documenting it yet. this is good for you as his skills have greatly improved making for a more entertaining video. in this one take note of the preaching motion with one finger pointed in the air and the serious tone of shouting. this kid has something very important to say, i just wish i could understand it!

so tomorrow is the big day. i am undecided about how i feel. right now i am ok with it though. i will have to report back and let you know how it went. i also want to tell you about this little get together i had today, but for now i am going to end this one here. wish me luck.


happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear aaron
happy birthday to you

this will have to do as you wouldn't want to hear me sing right now, my nasals congested, my voice whiny and weak. i tried to get cohen to sing for you but he insisted on eating the camera, so instead you will have to settle for a shot of him dancing (what you think it looks more like throwing a fit? come on now put on those pretend goggles).

i hope that you, my fine father-to-be friend, had a lovely evening, sorry i couldn't be there to wine and dine with you.


eleven months

cohen is sick, i was going to say sicker than a dog, but once again i have to ask, what does that mean? so let's just say sick, liquid goo covered face, limbs limp, whiney sick. i guess it started sometime last night and has slowly progressed.

this is his first cold, and the truth is that cohen is quite cute when he is sick. so clingy and non-active. he cuddles into me, clutching tighter and tighter until i start to loose circulation. he rolls around the bed with his eyes half open moaning a song to himself. sure it isn't pretty, and it certainly isn't his usual self, but it is nice to be so needed. for him to be so docile. i say this today, i am sure by tomorrow (after what will probably be a sleepless night) the story will read different.

so today is eleven month day. unfortunately there were no great adventures to report back on, mostly just a lot of moaning and sleeping. i did make a strawberry/blueberry shortcake though, in preparation for the one year cake. i figure if we practice now by the time june 16th rolls around he will be ready to eat the whole cake himself. for today though, he settled for one piece, whipped cream and all.

happy month day to you!


i need help

or in this case, i need advice. i haven't had my hair cut in ummmmmm.....at least 10 months, and so, thinking it was about time, i made an appointment for this saturday. normally i just ask for "the usual" which for the most part involves placing a bowl on my head and cutting, but this time i want something new! and exciting! and fun! i have no idea what that is though. i have this dream where i walk in there with a photo of hair i like (something i have fantasized about but have never actually done) and ask to have it replicated, and she aces the cut, and it looks great! is it possible? i don't know, but i would like to find out. so here is the thing, if you have any suggestions (or links to images) i am all ears, well eyes i guess. i have three days to figure this out, don't let me down, the future of my head depends on it (no pressure though).

last time i got it cut it looked like this, it is now far too long and straggly to post an actual picture of, but you get the idea.

that's the start, the middle, and the end

today we went and hung out with megumi and ryden. megumi is a friend of mine from work and ryden is her son who was born on january 16th, exactly 7 months after cohen. i hadn't been over to meet him yet (although i had seen a lot of cute pictures), and so i was excited to hold a newborn again and smell his baby head. he didn't disappoint. cohen, who isn't the most gentle at the best of times, did alright considering. of course he did make ryden cry a couple of times by imposing himself on his personal space, but no one lost an eye and so it was all fun and games in the end.


making islands where no islands should go

oh what a day. we left the house shortly after nine and didn't return until almost five! the children's festival, granville island, swings, more swings and lot's of walking were on the agenda, oh and a sandbox with a brand new bucket and shovel. i mention that last one because it would seem that somehow my baby became a little boy and that little boy instinctively knows how to shovel sand into his bucket all by himself.

speaking of babies and boys, my first impression of the children's festival wasn't so great. we were perusing the "preschoolers tent" to see if there was anything age appropriate for cohen, mostly it was for the slightly older set though, train sets and dress up clothes, tunnel mazes and puppet shows, but there was also a "baby corner" which had many plush things to fall onto and large wood objects to stack. much to our luck there was no one playing in the area and so i proceeded to set cohen loose only to be approached moments later and told that this section is for babies only. huh? was my only response and so she repeated. well...how do you define that? she didn't understand so i explained. her reply was "under a year". i told her his age, explained that he was indeed a baby, but either she didn't believe me or decided that despite his age he was still not baby enough and told us we weren't allowed. my mouth went sour and smoke started billowing in my head, but i left anyway. needless to say, anything that happened after that was beside the point as my opinion had already been shaped. the make your own music tent had terrible feedback, the change tent was dingy and dirty, and the grass was all wet and muddy, but there were lots of kids laughing, kites flying and my little boy was smiling. still, i wouldn't go out of my way to do it again, at least not for a few years.

i never mentioned but last friday morning cohen's grandma took him to her house all the way until saturday night (that is nearly 36 baby free hours for those who don't feel like doing the math. wait, am i a bad mother because that is exciting and not sad for me??)! it went very well and he seemed to have had a great time, even sleeping for ten hours straight at grandma's (i know, what the?!?!? why doesn't he do that at home?). he wasn't the only one that slept ten hours though, for the first time in almost eleven months i slept the whole night through and got up on my own accord too! it was heaven. hopefully grandma will want to do it again sometime soon!

now for your amusement another round of cohen out takes.

and one cute one for good measure


better days are here again

today was a long day filled with many outdoor adventures. we walked over to commercial, stopping at several parks along the way, and went swimming at the community centre. the sun shone down on us and our short sleeves the entire way.

those moms out there reading this may feel a little nervous to see the sun shining down on cohen without a hat on, and i agree. months ago, when he wasn't quite so strong willed, cohen would allow me to fancy up his head with all sorts of toques and knit caps, but then one day he had a fit, tore it off, and hat shopping has never been the same. i have tried and tried again with no success. i had even resolved that i would get one that fastened and he would have to wear it! something about liking or lumping. every hat i found though had a velcro strap for safety and velcro is no match for the great hat escaper, so eventually i gave up. i knew that it couldn't last forever though, unless he grew a full shaggy head of hair by late spring, a hat was going to be necessary, so i was always on the look.

the search ended today.

this one has a toggle on the string. a toggle is tricky business. i made him wear it around the store to make sure he couldn't get it off. he cried and wiggled and snorted, but he did NOT escape and so i bought it at once and then explained to him what "lump it" meant.

i figure by august he should be used to the idea of the monstrosity on his head, but until then i will just have to persevere.


i see trees of green, red roses too

i should start by saying that after i wrote last nights blog entry i decided to stay up a little later and wander around the internet catching up with some other blogs i normally read including sweet|salty. i know many of you also read her and if you don't, well the link will explain what i am talking about. like so many other times in my life i was brought back to the present and reminded about the importance of perspective. my sleeping and complaining, although real to me, seemed slightly foolish in the end.

with perspectives in mind let's talk about a new one that cohen and i have been getting lately, namely our brief encounters with outside living. marita had been on the waiting list for a plot in the community garden just a few blocks from our house for over a year, but luckily for us her name came up a few weeks ago and a plot was given. unfortunately this also coincided with her northern bc poetry tour and so i jumped at the chance to help her (and us in the process) out by volunteering to do some clean up on the plot while she was away.

i knew it would be a challenge having cohen down there, what with all the dirt and sticks to chew on, so i made a trip to the salvation army and found a pack and play in pretty decent shape for next to nothing. once i gave it a bath in the tub and aired it out, it was ready for some action, and so yesterday afternoon down to the garden we went. i did some weeding and soil turning, and cohen did some people watching and sun soaking. for a moment we may have actually allowed ourselves to believe that we had a backyard. it was magnificent.

so great in fact that today we went back for some more, this time with a few purchased plants in tow. i look forward to spending time at the garden with marita and the boys, watching the garden grow and in the end hopefully enjoying the fruits of our labour!


sleeping beauty trips me with a frown

i am in a rut.

maybe it is a funk, i am undecided about the difference.

it is a case of bananas and thinking. that is, the more i tell myself to not think about bananas, the more time i spend thinking about them. only in this case it isn't really bananas that are in question, it is going back to work. so to tell you that i haven't been thinking about it is a lie, a dirty shameful lie, because it is almost all i have been thinking about. everyday we go out, to the park, to the pool, to the library, just for a walk, and all i can think about is that soon it will be over. it is crazy talk i know, nothing is really ending. there may be less time, but the time itself will stay the same, it may even be sweeter. still, it is the less that has me blue.

when i was in my first year of university i went through a much too long stage where i was sleeping 16-17 hours a night. at first i didn't give it much thought, which looking back now i think it is a little strange, but after a couple of months and several dozen missed lectures, i started to suspect that something was amiss. the dr. confirmed that in fact this was not normal and suggested that it was my bodies way of coping with the stress of change. he kindly told me that he could have me withdrawn from a class or two without punishment if i thought it would help, but i wasn't ready for such drastic measures and thanked him anyway. instead, i forced myself up at a normal time everyday, and despite my brains best efforts, i exercised a little everyday to keep me awake. slowly things started to get better and although i didn't do great academically that first semester i didn't fail anything either. so that is that, some people eat ice cream, and others stay up all night unable to sleep, but me? well i go to bed at 6pm and sleep right on through until noon, usually waking up with a sleep hangover and a thick fog around me. it is in my dreams that i find refuge, something about checking out i think.

all this to say that lately i have been sleeping. a lot. as much as cohen almost, which is much more than a grown woman should be. morning naps, afternoon naps and early evenings, and yes, when we wake i do make us leave the house and "do something", but the sleep always seems follows me. my spirit is having trouble getting roused it seems, which once again brings us back to bananas.

i have much to update about cohen, happy, fun, exciting things. i will take pictures tomorrow and i promise no more bananas.