keep it up girl, yeah you turn me on

so have you seen the hasselhoff video yet? it is an oldey but a goody.

i am at work right now and i want to pull out all of my eyelashes one by one cause i am both incredibly bored and ridiculously taxed. for those that don't know i answer the phones for a living, customer service i guess. most days it is a walk in the park but then sometimes you hit a day that knocks you over. everyone is difficult or angry or frustrated. mostly all of the above. don't worry it isn't lost on me that my demeanor has a lot to do with how people interact with me and that it only takes two assholes to throw it off. but never you mind about that. it is always their fault, i am flawless. today is one of those days. i wish i was sleeping. i wish i was one of those people who write on their blogs all day about how they went shopping or ate pizza but nary a mention of employment, of responsibility. of actually having to do anything productive at all. sigh...i should have married someone rich so that i could stay home all day heckling the cleaning lady.

so i am here trying like mad to skirt responsibility and still make the time go by faster. i have watched that video three times, i guess you could say i am high on believing. well only 2 hours and 15 more minutes, if i add in bathroom breaks that should be more like an hour and a half...maybe i will see if i can find some more videos.


what's wrong with being a boring kind of a guy?

so i slept today. in fact i slept like no one has ever slept before. i would try and wake up but then i would think about how i had to pack stuff or clean stuff and then i would fall asleep again. i spend more than half my life in a dream. i would blame it on the baby but today i think i was just feeling a little bit of the blahs.

when i finally did get out of bed it was well past 4, and yes that is in the afternoon. i dragged my ass to the store to fill our water bottle (thinking that maybe the reason i am feeling so blah is a serious lack of H20). this meant going to the buy low grocery store which is about as ghetto as grocery stores get. it has this smell the is quite memorable but not quite describable. something along the lines of rotting vegetables and old people.

on my way home i got a sushi menu from sushiyama, as i had already decided that dinner was going to be made for me. then i trudged home and crawled back into bed. sometime around 6 i awoke again and decided to decode the sushi menu. i have always wondered what all those exotic sounding rolls were and so i set to work using ye olde internet. i had great success and learned much including the contents of a spider roll (go ahead ask, i know you want to know). then i ordered. then i got the sushi. then i ate.

watched mystery train which is an early jarmusch movie and ate popcorn and grape soda oh and some stale m&m peanuts from the fine establishment in the bottom of my building. when that was done i started reading some blogs where people were being all judgey about other peoples blogs calling them boring and mundane and stupid. then i decided to prove them right and come here and be all of those things so as to keep up the status quo.

now i am going to go back to bed.


i know i'm late. what do you care? stop draggin feet.

there is this woman who works in my office, over there in the back. i don't know her name or what she does. all i know is that she drags her feet. always. i think it is a problem with her shoes. in general she dresses pretty sloppy and her appearance is somewhat manlike and she wears clogs. everyday. big clunky clogs that drag along the carpet as she slomps past my desk. my teeth grit and fists clench. so imagine it, the sound, the clenching, the overall mundane laziness of these clogs. that is how my day has been going. my day is the sound of feet dragging on industrial carpet. my fists are clenched. only 2 and a half more hours to go.

messenger isn't working properly at work which i think is contributing to the drag. i normally answer the phones and talk on msn to co-workers, it helps to pass the time. today there is none of that and the internet can only help you kill time for so long before boredom sets in. so here i sit staring at the cubicle wall. tick tick tick. the clock rythmically passing my time.

for those wondering i never did go to writing class (and i know some of you think i was all talk and that i would go just to not be a quitter). in fact i all but forget that it was last night and never had even a moment of "did i do the right thing". i usually have the residual guilt associated with quitting but it turns out this time i got off easy. i am a champion quitter.

so what have i been doing all afternoon? obsessing over a birth plan. what goes in it, do i know enough, how do you word it, is it necessary. i think it is safe to say that the idea of birth is becoming more and more a part of my general day to day thinking. only 12 more weeks. hard to believe. i keep asking myself "how hard can this be?" and the answer keeps coming back. "harder than you would think".

only 2 hours 10 minutes.


gobble gobble

if you haven't seen this yet, then you really should.

eight is enough, but i only made it through 5

so i am giving it up cold turkey. let's say it is my way of celebrating lent and yes i know that technically lent started a few days ago but push aside the technicalities for the moment. i am needing a reason, religion is sitting there waiting for me to use it.

i am not going to my writing class anymore. it is hard to describe to someone who hasn't been there but it is a horrible experience. i work all day and then kill a couple of hours, usually eating some shitty campus food, before going into class where i sit with a gaggle of people who come across as pretentious and annoying and i discuss stories i am not particularly fond of. i learn nothing. i could sit at home and read a website for 10 minutes about point of view and be more enlightened then the 2.5 hours i spend in that awful curved back hard plastic chair.

the worst is how we have to "workshop" stories. i sit and i read these stories and i try like mad to come up with something constructive to say but i am not programmed for this function. i can't loosely throw around words like cadence nor can i discuss indepth the use of the first person in the context as opposed to the third person omniscient. i am an internal thinker. so when it comes time for me to add my two cents to the piggy bank i always come up blank and foolish. i leave there everytime feeling incompetent and exhausted. so i quit. there it is. i am a quitter. time to embrace it for what it is.


new digs

check it out.