it happened so fast too, it seems like it was just last week we were basking in the heat and lounging on patios...wasn't it? now i am contemplating a snowsuit for cohen, one of those ones i saw two weeks ago at mec and sarcastically said, who would need this in vancouver? i underestimated my paranoia about my baby being too cold. but still the sun has encouraged us to get out and romp. yesterday involved copious amounts of romping. it all started at the reifel bird sanctuary in ladner where grandma was adamant about having cohen experience ducks up close and personal. yes that is him sitting there amongst the birds.
not unlike his first meeting with the horse, he was indifferent to the whole thing. sure he reached over and tried to grab a few feathers causing me to have small but gut wrenching heart attacks but the birds were on their toes (or webbed feet i suppose) and never allowed his saliva filled paws to touch them. i thought the whole thing was slightly absurd but funny none the less and will some day make a good story, pictures included. plus the birds got some seed (the tool used to entice them into cohen's personal space) and most importantly we all made it out unscathed...phew.next up was a trip to the pumpkin farm on westham island. we didn't actually want to buy pumpkins, nor anything else from the farm really. the reason we were there was to get some pictures of cohen with some big orange round vegetables, so that we would feel festive and involved.
so we headed out in the muddy field and cobbled together a group of pumpkins in a way to make them look candid (although now that i have told you that i suppose they don't look candid at all) and leaned him in for the pose. the whole thing was slightly ridiculous (in case my tone didn't give that away!) but it would have made for great photos were it not for the bright sun over our heads. sun makes for great picnics or camping trips, but great pictures it does not. after three near tips into the mud we chose to move our photo op to the manicured portion of the farm. the place where the pumpkins were carved and theme parkesque. so we came and we saw and we left feeling festive and involved, our arms filled with photographs to make us feel like we achieved something. plus it smelled good on that farm, the air so crisp and new. i love autumn.
then of course it was off to the airport to get cohen's baka (grandma). she was meeting cohen, her first grandchild, for the first time. there were tears and hugs and kisses, lots and lots of kisses. both grandma's were there and so cohen was showered with a ridiculous amount of affection and he loved every minute of it. i wonder if a kid could get used to a thing like that? i don't know if i will have enough love to fill the void in a month when baka goes back home. or maybe i underestimate my ability to love, i have been known to tell him it has no limits. i guess time will test me on that!so that brings us to tonight. cohen and i decided to go out with our friends dreena and mike for a walk in the neighbourhood to see pumpkins carved and children costumed. there is an area near us that goes all out for the occasion. it takes up only a couple of blocks but almost every house is decorated with lights and cobwebs and pumpkins.
it seemed like every kid from far and wide showed up to these dozen homes for the loot, lineups down stairs a common site. it was a great experience. you see, i have always had this nagging voice in my head telling me how bad it is to raise a child in the city, reminding me of all of the things they will miss out on. on that list was halloween. i just couldn't imagine actually allowing my child to trick or treat and i also didn't think there were many in these parts that would give candy out. tonight i was proven wrong on both counts. all the laughter and smiles, well it reminded me that no matter where you go it is always possible to have community, you just have to nurture it and participate. there is definitely a community here and tonight it felt like a great place to raise a family. for me this realization was so much sweeter than any candy i could have had (of course i did have some candy too).happy halloween!
so today we went to 
normally he would sleep in the stroller or front carrier when i take him out but today he was too entranced by all he could see that he wasn't interested in sleep. he was quite grouchy on the ride home and fell asleep almost immediately upon our return at 6. his bedtime is usually 8. it is 8 now and he is still napping. i am hoping this means he is asleep for the night but something tells me he might wake in a bit and not fall asleep for awhile. routines are important, especially for ones so little. we will see how it all plays out. wish me luck!
it is going to be exciting for cohen to meet his baka for the first time! he is the first grandson so i know it is going to be quite an emotional scene at the airport, it should be great. so marko and i are both spending time doing that which brings us smiles. for me that means a dark chocolate toblerone and old school on the laptop (and did you know that meredith from grey's anatomy is in old school???). for marko it is battlestar gallactica and sour worms. for cohen, it hopefully means lots and lots of sleep!
well it looks like this post is going to be heavy on the photos again but i am sure you don't mind...right? this afternoon cohen and i and three of my mom friends, marita, aja, and thea all headed with our costumed babes to the mt. pleasant community centre for a little community fun. we had all been wondering just where it was that mom's of babies take their too - young - to - understandlings on halloween? the answer is turns out is the community centre. 
this particular outing took a little bit of letting go of the cool to appreciate as there were puppets and singing, lots of singing and some more puppets and little toddlers swaying to the beluga song (no not that beluga song but another equally as riveting one). it was an enormous helping of the dish i have come to refer to as "i am a mom now". but cohen loved it. his eyes lit up (although these pictures don't really do it justice) as he watched the kids dance and the university student/singing troup girls do their thing (with the puppets). maybe it was because their shtick was songs about fish and the sea or maybe it was just all the excitement but he had fun, lot's of it. so how could i not? as aja said, this reminds me of what halloween is supposed to be. 
so today was all about the park. cohen and i went for a walk with the other two mom's in my building, aja and marita and on our way back we stopped at a park to swing on the toddler swing. atticus was an 
it took all day and most of tonight but i managed to talk myself into the task. as i sit here amongst clean sheets i am thinking about how the state of my house affects my mood. when it is disheveled i feel anxious and tired, depressed and completely unmotivated. but when things are clean and in their place i feel this great calm, i am more creative and at ease. it is a tough equation though, since it is mostly messy and when it is messy i am too depressed to clean. i think there is an analogy for life in there somewhere. but enough talk about clean, let's talk more about cohen, who is currently fast asleep in his crib.
oh don't get me wrong, we did try and get him into his crib, which is beside our bed, a few times, but each time it just seemed like more hassle then it was worth. he woke more often, had a tougher time getting to sleep and just seemed less happy. so was i. but about a month ago we started on a schedule, nighttime and nap times come like clock work now and his ability to occupy two thirds of our already too small bed is starting to get old so we thought it might be a good time to try him in his own bed again. much to our pleasing he took to it and fell asleep without problem. he doesn't wake more often and falls right back to sleep after his midnight snack. it is working out well. so now we all have a little place of our own to sleep and there are no more legs and ankles and necks hanging off the bed. 
it mostly involves the entire contents of our bedroom closet strewn all over the floor/bed/rocking chair and a pile of laundry as big as everest blocking the door into the bathroom. i don't want to do it. i want all the stuff to magically float into the closet and organize itself and for the laundry to piss off. so instead of crawling into bed (where there are no sheets right now) and watching arrested development (will i ever get to finish season 2??) i am writing this in the middle of the rubble. i like to call that compromise.
with it tucked nicely up against his ear. he sucks on it, kisses it and in general lays a lot of love on it, or i should say them, since he is not yet blanket specific. i don't know if i should be concerned? he seems aware of it and in fact when i move it away from his face he moves it back, in his sleep, like a robot programmed for just such an action. i think he's alright. maybe he just likes the feel of flannel and really...who can blame him?
been taking a keen interest in our tank at home and so we thought we would take him and see. turns out he loved it and i am really starting to wonder if he wasn't a fish in a previous life. get him anywhere near water and he is all giggles. we had joked about him being an oceanographer when he was still on the inside and there was some banter about a deep sea diver, little did we know just how interested he would be in both those things. now i know you are saying it is a little early to tie him down to a profession and you may be right. still i think this is something that is worth nuturing.
suprisingly he didn't. well maybe not all that surprising since he doesn't truely have a comprehension of it yet but when enormous fish came within 6 inches of his face through the glass he mostly just stared in awe. the only exception would be the beluga whales. he still stared in awe, but with a mildly concerning look on his face. i think it was me telling him that they eat babies for breakfast that did it though.
but mostly it was just great to see cohen laughing and exploring and seeing all of these new things for the first time. there is such a big world out there to see. i love showing it to him, one fish at a time.
tonight my 
i hate to think of myself as a trend follower but the dark hair seems to be a trend this year so i guess i am. i think i like it. better than the other anyway. but i think all i was really looking for was change which is strange because my whole life has been changed lately, you would think it enough. maybe it is my brains way of rebelling. all of the big changes, the baby, the staying home, the finding myself within a whole new identity...well my brain didn't have a choice in all of that. so maybe the rearranging of the house and my head is my way of gaining control. hard to say. the pictures were me trying to get used to the new look, some of them turned out ok so i thought i would share. i guess i just felt i needed to explain, so that you wouldn't think me a narcissist because clearly being this, a mumbling 
so we've been sick. it started with cohen last weekend. he had a runny nose and then a bit of a cough. his temperature went just over 38.5, but then it went down and his cough subsided and the nights went back to being filled with sleep and the world was better. then i got it. it hasn't been terrible, mostly just stuffed up and achey. i think the worst was that tonight at dinner i thought my roasted purple potatoes were bland, despite having roasted garlic and onions in with them. i didn't understand. but then marko went and got me a mocha from joes downstairs and it didn't taste like anything either and while he was gone i leaned in to cohen to smell his freshly washed hair and smelled nothing. now i get it. stupid cold.
marita and atticus (and kevin) live in our building just one floor up and atticus has quickly become cohen's best friend. the four of us go on long walks together at least once a week and just recently we started doing a babysitting exchange. i take the boys one morning a week and marita the another. i think we were both a little nervous about having two monsters to look after but it didn't take me long to realize that i had nothing to worry about. 
i suppose that isn't exactly true, atticus, as it turns out, happens to be very fond of loud beat driven music accompanied by a crazy lady dancing. i wonder if it makes him think of his mom? they like to share toys and laugh and poke each other but mostly i just think they like the company and the mom's...well they like the time to themselves once a week. it is nice when things work out like that. i look forward to watching these two grow together. who knows maybe one day they will dance along with me and we will all be clowns together. i can't wait!
today was one of those days that knocks you on your ass and refuses to let you get back up. right from the very beginning it was sour and as much as i tried to shake it, i couldn't. of course no one died, or even got hurt and the things that went down were minor, incidental really, but to me it was something and i am glad it is almost over. you know what i am talking about right? the kind of day that you know almost instantly should be spent in bed but instead you try to conquer it, resolved that with a little perseverence it will turn around. it never does and everytime i tell myself that next time i will listen. next time i will stay in bed.
tv used to be great for that, infomercials in the wee hours of the morning would always offer enough of a distraction so as to ward off the demons in my brain. we don't have tv anymore though so i came out and sat on the couch and attempted to read. it took a lot of concentration, to put it mildly. of course i fell asleep in the end, luckily the dream didn't come back.
over a small but carefully placed display. these things are par for the course though. i guess it was just that today i was feeling particularily vulnerable and so the little things were stinging. then there was the tar on the roof of the iga which gave me a pulsing headache and the way too expensive steaks that i overcooked on the grill despite watching them like a hawk the entire time and the baked potatoes which ended up grossly undercooked despite being in the oven almost two hours. the after dinner coffees from the shop downstairs which were blah and the woman in the building who not only didn't open the door for me downstairs when i had coffees in my hand but also chose to leave on the elevator without waiting for me. 
