the song and dance keeping you in a trance. if you don't buy my record i got my advance

i am sitting here on a friday night eating twizzlers and looking for something interesting to read on the internet. i remember when it was enough to entertain me. all the information, an endless supply of links and new ideas. but then it just sort of became old and now it is something i do out of habit. a tick if you will. i read the same blogs everyday and look at the same news sites. every now and again i break away from the norm and read something different. when i get sick or confused i look up the answer. but i am not alone. this is what we have become. the entire world in the palm of our hands.

i bring this up because i was originally going to put jokes about monkeys here but when i looked some up i found: "we've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of shakespeare. now, thanks to the internet, we know this is not true".

of course this is not funny and has no business being called a joke but it is true none the less. i guess i am just another monkey.

so now you are sitting there with a want for an actual monkey joke. power of suggestion and all. inside you know that there could never be an actually funny monkey joke but still you need to believe right? well i was never one to let people down. brace yourself...

a woman got on a bus holding a baby. the bus driver said, "that's the ugliest baby i've ever seen!"

in a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. the man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "the bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

the man sympathized with her and said, "why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"you're right," she said. "i think i'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"that's a good idea," the man said. "here, let me hold your monkey."

*insert sound of cymbal "bu dump da"

come on, at least there are pictures of monkeys here. sometimes you need to hang onto the small things and if there is one thing the internet has taught us it is to never expect too much.