well it was worth a shot anyway

this morning sometime around seven i felt a knock on my skull, so i carefully opened my eyes just a crack to see galena sitting right beside my head, paw in mid air coming in for another strike (claws in of course). so i opened my eyes and made the move towards mobility causing her to jump from her perch leaving a perfect view of cohen's crib where he stood, hands firmly attached to railing, staring intensely at me with a grin on his face. they both wanted the same thing, food. so like every morning i needed to make the call, which was of course to do the easiest thing first. as i trudged to the kitchen with the cat in tow cohen started screaming (he is not fond of playing second fiddle). out of necessity i trudged on and filled the dish with kibble then back to the bedroom to retrieve a screaming cohen and then milk. i desperately wanted some juice but there i was sitting on the bed feeding cohen with no chance of some juice, the chance for that had passed me by. this is my life on a bad day. on a day when who i was, neigh who i am, is lost somewhere in the rubble. a day when instead i am defined by who i am to everyone else. it is part of being a mother and a wife i suppose but on a bad day it is tough to carry the weight.

so today wasn't great, but he slept well and he is asleep for the night now at eight minutes to eight. i think i might join him. i finished stanley park and to be honest it wasn't really my cup of tea. i am looking for books to captivate me these days, the kind of books you just can't put down. that wasn't one of them. i think i will make some tea, put on my pajamas and crawl into bed with the memory keeper's daughter now. with a little luck i will wake up on my own in the morning.


Kleja said...

you're a good Mom, to both the 2 and 4 legged types :)

m said...

I love the photo of our boys in their blue striped shirts! What a pair.

Have you read Lori Lansen's The Girls yet? I think it (& Anna Karenina) was the best book I read last year. I still think about the characters and I couldn't put it down. I loved it.

t said...

thanks klay!

and i haven't even heard of the girls let alone read it, i will have to check it out next. thanks for the recommendation.