2.20.2007

glad to see you again

i don't mean to stay away so long, honest. it just sort of happens sometimes, well lot's of the time really. i think that is one of the worst things about having a blog, thinking about the fact that you haven't written anything. if you have a moderate number of frequent visitors you feel as though you have let them down if you don't say something, but on the other hand you feel like a bit of a schmuck if you come here and post another boring post about nothing. so conflicted.

the big news is that i have decided that crafting blogs are my new mommy blog, and as a result have spent more time on my sewing machine then on the computer. there are so many creative people out there making such simple and yet wonderful creations that i quickly felt a need to be a part of it. i am not so great at the crafting stuff, but i sure do love to try, all the colourful fabrics and textures, the buttons and stitching. so wonderful. of course there is the continuous envy of these women who do fantastic work in a seemingly flawless and nonchalant manner, the way they make creativity look like a reflex. still, i think i would rather watch these blogs in wonder and feel the urge to "do" then read the mommy blogs and feel inadequate. it is all about where i am in the cycle i suspect.

you see, i have learned that being a mom is a very up and down job. when it is up there is no greater place to be then home with your child playing or singing, just present, but when you are down the world looks pretty bleak. my self esteem goes out the window and i convince myself that no one likes me and that everything i do is useless. i can't get motivated to clean and yet i feel ashamed that the place is so messy. i don't shower often enough or leave the house as much as i should. i mostly just wait for this thing to pass and for the good to return. lately i have been going through this, the down. it is a combination of so many things i guess, the change of season, the boredom of routine, small human mobility and an instability in my surrounding and of course hormones. so the mommy blogs have been tough to handle lately, some more than others (friend's blogs excluded, naturally).

i have to thank klay for inspiring me to find the creative outlet through links on her blog and then a multitude of links from there. i look forward to taking this energy and placing it somewhere positive while i wait this thing out, hopefully spring will be here soon.

*the photos are of nicole's quaint abode where i spent the majority of my last saturday night. the company, as always, was just as charming as the surroundings.

7 comments:

libragal said...

i wish i could be there to get you out to jj bean or the drive or anywhere really!

laish said...

I know just the cure for the blahs - a trip to the Big Smog, currently in the throes of changing seasons from scenic snowy wonderland to dirt-encursted snow banks & slush. Also, think of the hormonal stew we'll be able to brew up between the two of us! All this & a trip to the pool & the spa!

Nicole has a super cute apartment.

Tara said...

I can totally relate... I have been sewing alot lately myself... Im making a bag, a funky printed purse of sorts..LOL I also just completed 2 dozen cloth menstrual pads... Sewing is keeping me sane! for now..lol

m said...

I'm sorry you're going through a slump. And I feel bad that I haven't been connecting with you to either help lift you out of it or wallow in it with you. I've been sick since Sunday and Atticus is going through some brutal teething right now so none of us are sleeping. Our place is a sty and I could go on.

Crafting blogs make me feel inadeqate. I wish I had that talent. So many pretty/cute/quirky/sweet things to make and I don't even know how to use a sewing machine. Plus, so many of the crafters are also moms which makes me feel worse. How come they have time to raise three kids, keep a spotless home, cook amazing meals, make beautiful clothes, books and toys for their brood while I can't keep up with my dishes with one?

Wow. Sorry to hijack your blog. I guess I'm trying to say, you're not in this alone!

m said...

p.s. I had seen these photos on flickr and was dying to know whose place this was. So cute! Also love the fridge in the pantry. Wish I could do that here.

Kleja said...

Hey there, I'm excited to see your projects especially the menstrual pads. I tried that for a while but couldn't really convert. Is that TMI?..sorry.

I feel you when you say that you need to be part of the button stitching universe but I really don't think that 'inadequate' is something you should feel. You're one of those open, loving, learning from life Mom's that make the world a better place. Have fun in PG, I'm so jealous!

t said...

thanks guys!

i wish you were here too cat, jj bean coffee and some of your amusing anecdotes would be wonderful about now!

you are right laish, this trip is going to be nice, plus we have the motherly unit to entertain the small human thereby giving me some rest...you think i will get to sleep in? probably too much to ask since i have the milk and all.

tara you must show me pictures of your funky bag! it will feed into the craft fetish.

as for the motherly crafting blogs m, i agree wholeheartedly, but i try and block out the fact that they are mothers. actually i try and frequent ones where they aren't, or at the very least don't talk about it too much. i have a machine and know how to use it but all skill ends there, i mostly feel like i am making stuff that school age children would have no problem replicating.

thanks for the confidence boost klay, much appreciated...so when does that store of yours open?