you were holding me like someone broken and i couldn't tell you but i'm telling you now

so vacation is here. 10 days off, back for 13 and then that is it gone for 13 months. 58 days until cohen is supposed to show up. time just keeps ticking. a week sunday i will be 33 weeks. i was 33 weeks when i had maia. hard to think about him in there the same size. it will be her second anniversary soon but so far things have been ok. i am glad the sun is shining, warming my soul and lifting my spirits. hopefully it keeps up this week, maybe i will venture out. this sounds like i am sad but i'm not really. i have good chocolate cake waiting for me in the kitchen and marko is making me a decaf hazelnut latte, cohen never stops moving and really things couldn't be better. just thinking about time and the way that it stops and starts unexpectedly.

the kids are being restless in the alley, i suppose it was inevitable that we would have to endure the shenanigans of the skateboard set. with a little luck it won't be all night. as i sit inside under the covers in my pajamas at 9 o'clock on a friday night listening to inebriated youth spilling out on the street i am reminded just how old i am, just how long ago that was me. it is refreshing. i like it in here warm and familiar. that reminds me that today i saw a store that was called a "lifestyle boutique", it contained racks and racks of yoga clothing, yoga mats and no doubt yoga dvd's. it got me thinking, how come no one has a boutique for my lifestyle? flannel pajamas, fuzzy slippers, bubble baths, big bowls to hold all the popcorn, electronic gadgets to make life easier. all of the things necessary for a general malaise. maybe that is the thing though, us relaxers are too busy relaxing to venture into business? maybe if i could go to work in my pajamas it would be worth it? something to ponder.

i will leave you with a treat that i know at least one person who reads my blog would appreciate. you know who you are and it is out little secret. for me it is a little like pornography...and no not for john fogerty. there i have admitted it. i guess now in am supposed to feel free?

off to watch narnia now, or at least the first 20 mintues until i fall asleep...