4.02.2006

i had it but then i lost it and now i can't find it anywhere



so we are finally moved into the new place and so far so good although i am still finding it unsettling how some of our windows look into neighbours apartments.

this morning i saw him talking on the phone in his boxer shorts, his hands waving expressively in the air while she entertained an asian friend in the livingroom, large cups of coffee and laughs. their life size oil painting of a girl riding a bicycle makes me think they are artists and yet everynight they sit together, seemingly silent, watching tv. i can't quite make out what it is they are watching but i like to think that artists would be in turmoil most of the night, their hair a mess and their hands dirty with colour. not big bowls of popcorn and hours lying on a couch without any alcohol at all it seems. plus they are out during the day, artists never leave the house. so i guess i am probably wrong. this morning while pondering this it occured to me that they might be doing the same with me? i closed the blinds. these things take time to get used to.

three babies were expected, each a surprise, and yet all in a week they were revealed. three boys. a gang. a cluster. trouble. my boy will be the last of the pack which means i get to learn from the others trials. i also get to hear the stories filled with pain and chaos. i focus on relief, joy, exuberance. it is so much worse than you could imagine. perhaps some things are best left outside the imagination. i will take things one step at a time.

5 comments:

lori said...

hi tara!

paul and i used to live in that other apt. i was *obsessed* with watching the people in your apt. they never ever even glanced our way. not once. i couldn't understand it...

wow, aja had a boy too! i hadn't heard.

t said...

hi lori,

i went to your site this afternoon and instantly fell in love with your illustrations, i told everyone i know about them!

now i need to commission you to make one! expect me to bug you next time i see you.

marita and i joked that there will be a gang of lee building boys and sosi will be there leader...i think that may be right up her alley!

Deborah (Delphi) said...

Hey Tara...if the neighbors really bug you you can always get some of that window tak...you know the one that lets YOU see OUT but not others SEE in !! It's barely noticable to you but works wonders!
Hope this lets you get some privacy back!

m said...

I think I know who your neighbours are. If I'm right, he's an engineer and she *is* an artist, but with a day job at a theatre company. That doesn't explain the lack of alcohol, though.

I hope we're all in the building long enough that there will be a little gang, running down halls, knocking on doors, causing adorable trouble. The Little Rascals revisited.

lori said...

wow tara, thanks! i am so happy you like my stuff.

sosi is totally going to the ring leader of this gang!

lori:)