i am standing up at the water's edge in my dream

standing in line at the grocery store five months pregnant with a toque and a scarf on i begin to overheat. the panic sets in for a moment and i fear that i am going to have to drop my basket and run outside in order to make it back home in one piece. just when i start to get dizzy i hear from checkout 4 a little child crying to his mom.

"i can't hold it mom, i really can't", the mom is patient, more so than most and she quietly explains to him that he will need to, "just 2 more minutes we are almost done". inside she is praying that he can do it, she is willing him the strength to pull through. he doesn't seemed so convinced and the crocodile tears are flowing freely down his face, he is pleading like a torture victim and i am instantly reminded of that time at that party when i had way too much to drink and couldn't find the bathroom. i understood this kids plight and it wasn't a good one.

for a moment i thought of dropping my stuff and helping the mom. don't worry i would tell her, i will buy your groceries for you and meet you outside, just take him to the bathroom. of course this would never work.

so as a dozen or more people looked on in pain this poor little boy peed his pants right there in checkstand 4. the mothers face went red and the man in front of her said "hey you can't win them all", a few laughs and then silence. the boy was still crying and the line wasn't moving and the whole thing was a mess. so she left the line and put her buggy aside, she wasn't happy but also not all that surprised. and then it was business as usual.

i was up next and i had all but forgotten that i was hot and even if i was still feeling dizzy i am not sure i would have cared, in the grand scheme i realized that i can hold it. longer than a 6 year old anyway.

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