a chip off the old block?

today was my first flex day in what seemed like forever. usually i get every second wednesday off and just work a little longer the other nine days, but at the beginning of the semester we have flex black outs which means no days off to play in the sun with cohen. i was excited to finally have the day to ourselves again and wow did we make the most of it.

we started off ambitiously with a trip planned out to UBC to do some swimming and visit with some of my co-workers. it would be our first swim since the municipal strike began months ago, ubc aquatic center being one of the only pools around not run by the city. we left at 9:20, a time i thought would be tolerable for the express bus that runs the 35 minutes out to the university. i was mistaken. we stood and waited as bus after bus after bus (make that 25 buses, honestly) went by that were full to capacity. it was 9:52 when a driver finally took pity on us and made room to allow us on. i couldn't believe it was still so busy at that time...sigh. i was nervous about the belly aching that such a long ride might create (especially with so many people) but i was wrong, he was great with big smiles and quiet contemplation the whole way. so we swam and we visited, which meant he mostly charmed and entertained large circles of crowds. it was nice to bring him out to work, i think the last time we went he was only 6 months old.

the ride home was easier to achieve and he slept the whole time. in fact, he continued to sleep for quite some time after we got home, hunched over in his stroller. eventually i decided to take him back out (still asleep) to go and see my friend dreena's new house. cohen woke up about half way there, which made him ready to explore all four floors (!) of house once we got there. he doesn't get much opportunity for stairs so he had fun climbing them one by one, as well as playing with the bouncy chair in the soon to be nursery. the house was beautiful and so big! i couldn't imagine having so much space, it would be a dream come true.

after exploring, the three of us decided to walk to seb's for lunch. cohen and i shared banana bread french toast which i must say was even better than it sounds. in fact, we had to stare each other down for the last couple of bites, me being the sucker i am gave in. i am sure he ate more than i did. then we went walking for an hour in the sun (including a quick stop at the salvation army where cohen got a very cute new shirt) and finally came home to start dinner sometime around 5. such a good day.

tonight wasn't as great though. cohen has a bad habit of standing in the tub. he likes to turn the tap on and off and pull the shower lever up. we are always trying to get him to sit down, but trying is not the same as doing and as i have mentioned he is strong willed. so tonight while he was being defiant and standing, he slipped and hit his face on the side of the tub chipping his front tooth. he didn't cry for long and it looks like it is minor enough that it didn't cause nerve damage, but we won't know for sure until tomorrow. it just reconfirms that we need to be more careful with him. it is so hard to know where the line is between freedom and danger at this age. i worry that next will be a broken arm or worse, he just has no fear. so now to add to the possible scar on his forehead he also has a chipped front tooth. good grief.

it's just bad timing that's all

the camping trip didn't go as well as i hoped it would. as i was packing the car on friday i had a nagging feeling that we shouldn't go, maybe it was the thick clouds rolling in over the mountains, or the terrible forecast for the weekend, or maybe it was just that everything felt a little off. whatever the reason, i should have listened to that voice, but instead, as we are all apt to do, i went ahead with the plan.

the things i am remembering most right now:
1. the rain. the torrential rain that began to pelt on the roof of the tent sometime in the wee hours of friday night and continued almost without reprieve until our departure on sunday.
2. cohen's lack of happiness and nearly constant state of distress. this would be the main umbrella where i would put his fever, his crankiness and his lack of appetite and my worry about all of the above (we now think all of this was a direct result of new teeth).
3. complaining, so much complaining.


things i am not remembering most right now but that i hope will be the true memory that stands the test of time.
1. that satisfied feeling of setting up camp. the careful planning and executing of tarps and tents into a configuration that makes the space feel like home despite the weather. knowing that when it rains it is ok, we are ok, there will be no leaking.
2. finally in a fit of frustration (i am not going to have the only memory of his first birthday be of him miserable and upset!) packing up cohen and marko and our swimming gear (which i foolishly brought thinking that the weather might turn around and a lake swim might happen) and heading to the squamish aquatic centre where we splashed and laughed and forgot for a moment that the weekend wasn't turning out so fantastic. cohen didn't have as much energy for the pool as he normally would, but we got some smiles and there weren't any tears!
3. sitting in front of the fire, dry and warm under the tarp as the rain pelted above us, sick and needy cohen nestled snuggly into my chest, fast asleep, dreaming of trees.
4. the bbq'ed steak and chicken dinner enjoyed with a bottle of red wine and some pretty fantastic friends, oh and the chocolate cake with raspberries and whipped cream for dessert (mmm steak and cake).

so the weekend wasn't great. the expectation wasn't met. there were no fantastic back to nature photos taken, no whipped cream on noses or splashes in lakes, but there was family, my family and that is always something to celebrate. i feel very lucky for all that i have, even when it is raining outside, and have lost enough in life to know how important it is to cherish everything that you have. i do. still, i hope that next time we get some sun!

i plan on one more birthday post, a retrospective of sorts, so look for that in the next couple of days.

this last photo was taken in the aquatic centre parking lot. we had left our campsite and driven down the highway to squamish with this poor slug on our car. we only realized once we got there and saw him clinging to the side, likely very confused. by the look on cohen's face he wasn't the only one!

your's is the first face that i saw

birthday week is upon us! i say birthday week as it is important to milk these things for all they are worth. cohen's birthday week kicked off last sunday with a little gathering at our house in his honour. the cake was blueberry banana with cream cheese icing, which to my great disappointment is a very stable and clean eating cake. cohen not only got the whole thing into his tummy, but licked all of his fingers with little to no mess on his face. very disappointing indeed. still, there was singing and balloon poking and attention, so much attention, that there was no way cohen couldn't have a great time.

today cohen continued his week long celebration by hanging out at grandma's. apparently he spent a portion of today basking in the lush backyard in nothing but the skin he came in, which is pretty much the best day ever for him, and then grandma let him suck on the juicy middle of a mango. tomorrow i am off work for the day and plan to take him to the park in the morning and swimming in the afternoon. we haven't been swimming in almost a month and i have missed it immensely. i can't wait!

his actual birthday, as some of you know, is on saturday. we will be spending that day contemplating life under a canopy of trees as we are headed into the woods for a little back to nature weekend. it will be our first annual camp cohen (as dubbed by this years attendee nicole). the weather looks like it might be warm and sunny, which could mean a dip in the lake and some more naked playing for the pooper, and some much needed relaxation for mom. oh, and of course there will be another cake for the actual day, this time though it won't be so clean. whip cream should be sufficiently messy enough!

so wish us luck with the weather and we will see you back here on monday with some photos of our adventure.

you say you don't want to run and hide

today was swimming thursday (we went last week on thursday as well, so now, with little to back it up, i am declaring thursday swim day). this week we went with marita and atticus. it was his first time in the pool and i must say he did very well. very well indeed. there may have been moments of hesitation (or was it meditation?), but they quickly faded into glee. i hope that our future holds many more swim thursdays (or wednesdays, or fridays...well you get the point).

in other news, yesterday morning cohen and i went out for a walk to the store, and a bit of a strange thing happened. i should preface this story with the fact that i have never been stung by a wasp. honest. never. as a result i have an unusual fear of them. in theory i realize that a sting wouldn't hurt that much (i mean i did give birth after all), but it is the not knowing that freaks me out. maybe i am deathly allergic? remote, but still possible (and yes i know i get one freebie before i swell up to the size of a grape and burst). oh sure, there have been moments where i have considered just putting myself in harms way to get it over with, but those moments almost always end with me changing my mind and then running around in circles waving my arms in the air and breathing short quick breaths.

so what does this have to do with our walk? well, there was this moment along the way when a wasp landed on the arm of the stroller, just inches away from cohen's happily flailing arm and instead of my usual instinct (which is to start the circle running and strange breathing), i was filled with this desire to grab it, to have it firmly in my grasp, to make it impossible for it to hurt him. i had absolutely no fear of the wasp, but only this deep rooted need to protect at all cost. as i reached down (and really i would have shooed it away first, i mean i am not a madman) it flew away on it's own. it left an impression though. in that small moment i understood a little deeper what it means to be a mother, how far i would go on instinct alone just to ensure safety. i am not sure parenting changes you (although i may be wrong yet), as much as brings to the surface these things, things we all carry with us yet have never known. everyday is a discovery.

also, thanks to everyone who chimed in with your humour and support of the cage. it softened the edges of my guilt and made me thankful for friends.

lookin' for a place to happen

today was swim day! our trip to prince george and seeing just how much cohen loves the pool renewed my interest in finding a place here in the city for us to go. i found this which it turns out is only one bus ride and a short walk away for us. not only does it have an amazing kids pool, complete with a little river that has a current running through it and an area for little little ones where the water is only about a foot deep, but it is uses an ozone system for filtration which means less chlorine in cohen's eyes.

i was excited to check it out, but thought i should go alone to see how far it was to get to, so one night last week after cohen had gone to bed i made the trek over and had a swim. it wasn't too far, only about twenty minutes on the bus. the pool itself was great, and i knew right away that he would love it, so today we went together. uncle elton and cohen's cousins reidun and kyla also came along. there was a lot of splashing and laughing and then a lot of sleeping. i was able to keep him awake to eat dinner but come 6 he was fast asleep and that is where he has been ever since. i look forward to making it a regular outing for us, so much fun!

now i am off to read the end of my book. it is often sad, but also deeply satisfying to come to the end of a book i enjoy. it will be the perfect end to a perfect day.