so this morning i groggily dredge my carcass onto the express bus and plunk down in the first available seat. i have been having trouble lately with the standing on the bus, becoming overheated, prone to fits of panic and anxiety, sweating dizziness and well a whole host of other fun things. because of this I was glad to have a seat this morning. most of the people who got on with me did not. so there I am calmly trying to rest my eyes as the bus took me on my way when from the back of the bus i hear shouting.
at first it is more like loud speaking and it is far enough back that it is indecipherable, just an angry hum and a raucous. however, as the bus progressed so did the elevated voices and soon it became evident that some over sized woman (and by over sized I mean girth, height and head) felt jilted by a younger and obviously healthier model of female who “stole” her seat. the younger model was not interested in entertaining these accusations and remained silent, but this silence could only last so long before agitation, frustration and most dangerously pride took over and she began to shout back. "i did no such thing she said, it is first come first serve and i was here first" (a lesson for the ages, or so it would seem). "but what if i was pregnant how would you feel then", said the girthy woman. "just who the fuck do you think you are?" is the other's retort (at this point i think most of us were wondering the very same thing?...look lady it is seat!).
around now the bus grinds to a halt having reached it’s next destination. pulling over to the curb i realize that they are both getting out at the next stop. (and now we should all be saying..all this for a ride that lasted one stop?) this could get explosive. what will happen? this is two grown woman dressed in what appears to be professional clothes…so i ask myself is this Christmas rearing it’s dirty head? sure enough, not two steps off the bus and they start throwing down, the older, bigger one making the first move with a push and a shove and a shout. i remain in my seat finding it hard to believe that someone could muster so much energy at 7:30 in the morning, when I was barely able to stay in a vertical position in my seat.
the driver stayed for a minute, he seemed unsure what he should do. some people on the bus started laughing, a couple criticizing and then we pulled away from the curb. the women were left on the rainy dark sidewalk to fend for themselves.
as we rolled away i was feeling lucky that it wasn’t me, but couldn’t help but wonder what would i have done if it was?
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