4.16.2008

some days it's raining some are sunny and blue

lazy sunday mornings

i didn't talk about it here much, but from the day i found out i was pregnant with ada i have been filled with an enormous worry about how it would change cohen. at my first appointment i broke down in tears, overcome with the emotion of what laid ahead for me. was i going to be patient enough, was he going to be flexible enough? it was ridiculous. i know part of it stemmed from the stories my mom has told me over the years of how my oldest brother changed from a sweet boy to an angry and aggressive child after my other brother was born. i still see him carrying an anger and i can't help but wondering if it all started then. it wasn't that i didn't want two children, i just didn't want to screw it up.

it was because of all this that i found myself bracing for the worst case scenario when we brought ada home on friday, but it turns out that my worrying was all for naught.

the first day cohen was confused, he would come over and look at her and laugh nervously and then continue playing, or he would climb up on the couch beside me and snuggle in to my free side as if he was staking out his claim. the second day he started taking an interest, he would come over and touch her toes when she was in the bouncy seat or gently touch her hair. his reaction took me by complete surprise. he never once retreated or became sad or quiet. i know it helped that ada is such a quiet and relaxed baby. her disposition has allowed for us to continue to give cohen attention as he needs it, to sit on the floor and play with blocks or read books in the middle of the day, but he has also shown amazing flexibility and for that i am feeling enormously grateful and relieved.

build it up to knock it down

this morning cohen woke up and came out into the living room where ada and i are sleeping, climbed into our bed and leaned in to give her a good morning kiss and then laid down beside her and stared. when i change her diaper now he comes over and pulls the wipes out of the box and hands them to me, sometimes he even starts rubbing her bum with them, and if she cries when we are changing her he sometimes starts rubbing her head to calm her.

of course there is the other, more comical, side of that coin. he has tried to feed her his raisins (don't worry i was right there to stop him!) and often goes over to see if she wants some of his juice. he has also taken to driving his cars on her legs when she is sleeping and the other day he picked up a clump of cat hair that was on the floor (yuck i know) and carried it over to her and put it on her hair, i think he thought it belonged to her!

so that is where we are right now with the transition. i know she is going to start to become more fussy as she grows, and he is going to have to handle her crying and his needs coming in second, but one bridge at a time. i will take these first 6 days as a victory!

5 comments:

Tara said...

what a sweet big brother... i think he will do just fine...

Alexandra said...

congrats again Tara she is adorable and you have two wonderful blessed children

Klay said...

I'm always fascinated by young children and how they handle things. I really wouldn't know, but Cohen's actions seem like they would be directly related to the loving and nourishing environment you've created. I mean maybe his personality is just that way and would be that way in any environment - I for instance had a loving environment and I really disliked my sister when she came along but I was 7 and that is a much different age - my parents hated each other too so...what was I saying?

I just think it's a reflection of how you as a person allow your children to develop and to choose loving kindness over something else. Driving his car into her leg seems like a very "boy" thing..can't get around that :)

Ada and Cohen are beyond amazing and you are possibly the luckiest person I know.

Sorry if I ramble.

auntie Paula said...

My is Ada ever an adorable little girl. You just want to reach out and squeeze and hug her. Such a sweetie pie and you all are so blessed. That is great that Cohen is adjusting quite well at this point with his new little sister. I think it will all be good and he will do just fine.
I can't wait to see her. Keep those pics coming on the blog. Love it..hugs to all

Sara said...

1st, She is so beautiful.

2nd, It's going to be okay. There will be some rough moments, maybe even some rough days, but it's going to be okay. You've given Cohen the greatest gift he'll ever recieve, it's going to be better than okay, it's going to be great.

3rd I'm going to sound like a completely hormonal woman...if you think cohen's babyhood passed quickly, you aint seen nothing yet. I've spent the past 3 or 4 days crying at odd moments because my baby is 3. And I know that sounds insanely stupid because I'm so blessed to have such a beautiful boy, but I think that I regret so much that spent so much time worrying about so many things that truely didn't matter, that I missed out on some things with him. Just remind yourself it's okay to slow down, That beautiful baby girl will be walking and talking and running behind Cohen before you know it.