then the rain let up and the sun came up, we were getting dry

i know i have said it here a couple of times now, but i am going to say it one more time. i love autumn. i suppose it has something to do with my inclination towards burnt oranges and reds and the smell of fires burning inside homes on cold nights. i love the crispness in the air, the way your cheeks get rosy without the pain of the the winter cold. the crunch of the leaves under foot. everything about it is okay in my book.

this affinity towards all things autumn goes back all the way to my childhood when i would play for hours in the leaves out front, raking up piles and then splashing into them, leaves scattering everywhere waiting to once again be raked. halloween meant a bonfire at juan de fuca rec centre and that smell, oh how i loved that smell. so a lot, actually most, of my clear memories as a kid happened in the fall and now as an adult i have flashbacks to that time in my life. it doesn't take much to get me there, often just the faintest of smells and my memory comes alive.

this year has been no different in that respect, yet it is different. you see now when i have them i think of cohen and how he is just starting on the journey of memory. when i have that moment where it all comes back as clear as yesterday i wonder if he is soaking it in as well, if someday his memory will flood back to a time he can't quite remember but is familiar all the same. it is in these moments that everything comes full circle for me. the looking back and the looking ahead. a contentment settles in and i feel what can only be described as proud. proud that i made it to this place, to this moment in all it's perfection and proud in knowing that someday cohen will look back and remember and that i, well i will play a part in that. i hope that one day his memories are as sweet as mine.