is there trouble ahead for you the acrobat?

riding the bus home tonight i was confronted by the usual assortment of crazies. the lady who likes to tell everyone what they are doing wrong..."hey you! don't you know you aren't allowed to eat on the bus?", the beer can guy, garbage bags filled to the brim, a pungent odour wafting from his direction, and then my personal favourite, the obsessive compulsive lady.

her hair perfectly coifed, attire respectable and meticulously clean, posture upright and quite proper. so what's the problem right? there wouldn't have been one if she hadn't taken out an antibacterial wetwipe from her purse and started wiping the seat before she sat down, the entire time staring me down with disdain, and even that comes with an excuse, I mean beer can guy was in the vicinity, it makes the best of us shakey. but then there was the constant standing up and looking with fear at her seat, brushing away imaginatry crumbs, straightening out of the skirt and then back on the seat. mix in the several quick glances in all four directions and a strange paranoid energy around her and you have a bonefied crazy.

when it came time for me to get off she considered for a spilt second of simply moving her legs slightly to let me pass but once she gave me another glance she thought better and stood quickly up, careful not to touch the pole. she then sort of hovered in the aisle unsteady on her feet but willing to take the risk. she was afraid of both me and and the pole, possibly in that order. so i allow her the senility but admittedly i fantasized of licking my hand and running it through her hair just to see if she would melt like the wicked witch of the east. or maybe just to remind her that she wasn't the only one that was crazy on the bus, some of us are just better at covering it up then others.