5.26.2006

i waited hours for this, made myself so sick

i haven't had any dreams with babies in them, there have been no births in the backseat of the car, no babies that come out siting passages from the bible. no babies period. i mention this because it is strange. at this stage in the game i should definately be dreaming of babies, at the very least someone elses. but still nothing comes. no it turns out that i get to dream about more interesting things, clowns, roller coasters, swimming in the ocean. loosing my teeth. i put this last one by itself because it is reoccuring, i might even say frequent. i had it last night and two nights before that and the night before that one. twice last week. in fact i wake up now expecting to have had the dream and when i haven't i feel as though something is missing.

a little research has shown me that in fact this is one of the most common dreams out there. i guess i shouldn't be surprised that i fall into the common category, i mean i am old enough now to expect that. of course teeth loss dreams come in all shapes and sizes. sometimes they fall out clean, no blood just a gap where there used to white, sometimes it is one, sometimes many. maybe they are pulled out in a sterile office with the light shining bright, the dentist grinning. with me they are rotting. quickly. it starts with one that falls out but the root remains sharp, jagged and bloody. lots and lots of blood. mouth fulls spit into the sink as i look in the mirror. then another and another falls, my mouth full of blood and chunks of teeth, as i spit them out more seem to appear. i panic at first and then i find resolve and start encouraging them to break to get it over with, swishing the pieces vilently around in my mouth. i spit and spit and spit and spit. sometime around now i usually wake up. i am always alone. i never cry.

so what does it mean? well it turns out that interpretations on this one are so diverse that it could mean i am going to come into money or that i am going to die as soon as i wake up. a crap shoot really. they all seem to point to teeth as power and that by loosing them it symbolizes a loss of some sort of power. it is also said to represent a fear of losing something important to you. this makes sense i think. but does the interpretation of dreams hold any value anyway? i am not so sure. i don't know why i sit on the fence about so many things. the skeptic and the believer hashing it out at the egde of the cliff. the battle has been going on for years now. secretly i think the believer has the edge. especially when you have the dream over and over. it has to mean something? or maybe it means that i am grinding my teeth. they hurt. i dream they fall out. i think most things can be explained that easy.

but i am not sure they should be.

oh and i don't recommend google image searching teeth after reading this or you are liable to have dreams of your own.

3 comments:

LindzyPinzy said...

Ive really enjoyed reading your blog this evening:)..i am the same person that sent you an email from Maia's memorial.

t said...

hey i just went and checked out your blog, lucky you going to so many concerts..those days are behind me now! although i did go to matt's acoustic concert alone and very pregnant..ha ha.

i grew up in colwood and am somewhat jealous that you get to live in sooke. thanks for posting a comment and for the email.

LindzyPinzy said...

I have to say that it is beautiful out here in sooke..thanks for checking out my site..ill keep reading yours:)..matt good is pretty amazing hey? I cant wait till I go to his acoustic show