mother, do you think she's good enough

it started out innocently enough. i would realize it when i was in the grocery store and watched the screen as everthing was rung through, making sure the prices were right, afterwards double checking the receipt. and i was accutely aware that there was something more to my more recent habit of buying regular household items in bulk when they are on sale, scanning the flyers on wednesday afternoons for good deals. then there is the way i freeze ground beef, flat in pancakes for easy defrosting and my need to have a clean bathtub, clean windows and clean sheets.

i used to be messy and those of you that knew me back in university or better yet, highschool, can attest to this fact. and i don't mean your run of the mill messy, more like mold growing on windowsill, sweaty bedsheet messy. but i grew up in a home that was emaculate, my mom always cleaning. floors you could eat off of. one crumb in the middle of the floor and she would apologize to guests "sorry about the mess". i suspect my messiness was in rebellion to this.

something happened this weekend though and i think i have come to grips with it finally. yesterday afternoon i finallybecame my mother, and it's ok. have you become yours yet?

things are going to slide, slide in all directions

a couple of mornings ago i decided to take cohen and head out to the local greasy spoon where i sometimes partake in a little heart attack inducing breakfast. we sat at one of the two outside tables and i ordered banana pancakes with two eggs scambled and a large orange juice. after a few minutes of sitting idle in the stroller cohen started to squeak and so i pulled him out and onto my lap to look around while i finished reading the article on promiscuity in the georgia straight, his head was bobbing from side to side with wonder. it was right about now that the man at the other table spoke up and asked cohen if he was made of rubber. i of course cased the guy to see if he was crazy or whether it would be ok to engage him in conversation. i decided it was ok and laughed to encourage him. he asked the question everyone asks...how old? and then asked his birthdate specifically. june 16th.

upon hearing the answer he turned his head slightly sideways and started mumbling (oh no! had i read this wrong...is he crazy?) and then shook his head slightly and made that clicking sound some people make with his tongue. i had to ask, fearful of the answer, what? turns out he was figuring out some sort of numerology/personality based fortune through the birthdate and upon calculation had determined that i "will have my hands full with this one, he will always talk back and will have to have the last word in every conversation". ha! that's ok i told him his dad is the same i will leave them alone and go have coffee, they can last word it out together! he will be very clever though, maybe even too clever and he will look young his whole life. wow! i don't generally believe these things, and i am not saying i do here, but marko and i both look very young for our ages and are often mistaken for younger than we are. plus marko is definately too clever for his own good. who knows what the future holds but it is fun to think that when he was two and half months old a stranger predicted his fate and that one day we will look back and say just how correct he was. but for now i will just enjoy his non-sensical mumbling and not think about what the future holds. the now is passing too fast as it is.

come and do drawerings with me

there are so many questions that come out of this drawing done by my neice reidun. like for instance why are my legs so long? i give her bonus points for making me orange, i think that means she has been paying attention, but does she think i look like a model or is that i am too overbearing, constantly standing over her? let's hope for the former. also why did she make her own hair so dishevled, is it some kind of statement that she doesn't believe in hairbrushes. but most importantly, has she been watching south park, because cohen sure does look a lot like kyle's adopted canadian brother ike .

of course this could just be a drawing with little or no meaning done by a four year old to pass the time while her aunt and grandma make lunch, but what fun would that be?